Amy

Amy

Monday, May 17, 2010

The Infamous Spring Break of 2010

I'll get this started at the beginning...

Holy Week = Busy, cranky, sleep-deprived Catholics. We were at Church every single day the week before Easter. So when Easter Sunday finally rolled around, we were so glad to have some rest coming our way. J and I spent Easter at my parents' house with my family. Just like old times. Even Grandma and Granddaddy made it out! It was wonderful seeing everyone together again.

The next day, we slept in a bit before heading to Coffee. (Sidebar: Daddy is part-owner in Leipers' Creek Coffee & Tea Co. and Jeremy does the roasting.) Momma called me on our way to town to ask about a job opening at my school. She had been having issues with her position and sounded especially desperate on the phone. I told her to calm down and asked her what had her so jittery. Her response was, "Nothing. You'll probably talk to your Daddy soon anyway." After she said this, she refused to speak anymore.

Well, now I was panicked. Here we were, heading to meet my father at Coffee to help roast, and to apparently "talk". I immediately began to interrogate Jeremy on what he thought this was all about. After all, he saw Daddy quite often and would know more than I would. He tried, unsuccessfully, to calm my nerves, telling me, "We'll know soon enough," and "I'm sure everything is fine."

Once we got there, I could tell something was weighing heavily on Daddy's mind. J went in to start the roaster and fill a few standing orders, while Daddy followed up on missed phone calls. I, however, sat and stewed in my own worry. After calling back clients, Daddy just sat beside me and began to cry. His exact words were, "Well, your Momma and I are having some problems." Well, of course, I melted right there.

He proceeded to tell me about years of emotional neglect and pent-up hurt feelings on his part. That he had felt pushed-away for the majority of their marriage. That he had tried to tell Momma about his feelings many times without success. That he had thought about leaving long ago, but couldn't because of my sister and me. That he loved Momma dearly, fiercely. But, that he was leaving. We both cried and talked for a couple of hours there in the office.

Being a self-proclaimed "Daddy's Girl", I told Daddy that I would do whatever I could to help him through this. He could stay with us, call me whenever he needed to talk, anything. I knew that I couldn't take sides in this situation, but it was so difficult not to do just that. I had just listened to my Rock of a father bear his proverbial soul. What's more, I knew my mother's personality: very emotionally guarded, bottles thing up, doesn't share things easily. It seemed that my mind was made up for me.

I tried to speak with Momma, but she was very angry. Every time I would try to calm her down and let her know that Daddy was hurting, too, she just became all the more upset. She told me that he must be having an affair. That what he told me was a lie. That he never approached her about struggling with feeling ignored. I tried to tell her that she was in complete denial and that he would never lie to me. I'm his daughter, for goodness' sake.

After a few days, she began to reflect upon their marriage. She recognized her part in this problem and came to me for advice. I told her to just apologize and tell him every day that she loved him. Even if it was just by text. That maybe that would remind him of all that brought them together in the first place. "That's stupid," she told me. "I don't want to look like a fool." But she did it anyway.

The next day, he came home.

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